Yesterday can be categorised as a "bad day". I counted a total of 20 BM's over a 24-hour period - more than half of these were bloody. Officially, my worst day in over 4 weeks according to my UC diary.
Yet, my experience of the day was not unbearable. The pain came and went consistenly throughout the day and although exhaustion & weakness followed close on its heels, it did not overcome me with self-pity or depression as I suspected it would.
Because yesterday, my husband looked at me and asked me with patient sincerity:
"What can I do to make you feel better?"
And so, instead of shrugging him off as I usually do, I answered him:
I told him that he could try to make me laugh; that he could sit close to me on the couch whilst we watched tv; that he could hold me in the middle of the day; that he could hold my hand whilst I slept.
That he could be by my side when I needed him to be.
And so this is what he did; in a way that only he could.
My UC diary argues that it was indeed a "bad day". My body confirms this with the extreme exhaustion that I can't seem to shake off even today.
But because of the love and peace I feel inside of me, my heart begs to differ.
Although my mind and body disputes this, my heart tells me that it was one of my best days in a long time.
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Good for you! Something I have learned for myself (and you will discover even more after your child is born) is that we can have pain and joy at the same time. Sounds like you have an awesome husband, what a blessing!
ReplyDeleteHi - I hope your having lots of better days now.
ReplyDeleteHow are you doing now? It has been quite some time since you've updated!
ReplyDeleteHi There,
ReplyDeleteI'm writing to you as a fellow Colitis sufferer - to see if you would promote(or even just mention) a website, on your influential colitis blog.
I'm not affiliated with the site in anyway, otherwise I'd have a cure together email address. But I could just be saying that, so I guess there is an element of faith involved here.
Basically the theory is lot's of people sign up for the site and rate the various treatments they have had for Colitis, what they think triggered their colitis, and they can track various metrics such as hours sleep, exercise, etc and the site is partnered with several universities with which it shares the information.
The reason I am writing, is that once they have 1000 patients rate the various treatments, they publish the results, which they have done for Crohns:
http://curetogether.com/blog/2011/09/20/crohns-study-results-29-treatments-rated-by-patients/
I would really like to raise awareness among the UC community through blogs such as yours, to get to the US data that level as well. The link to the UC section is below:
http://curetogether.com/ulcerative-colitis/treatments/
I would really appreciate it if you would give it a plug - and help increase the medical understanding of the disease.
Many thanks and best regards,
Andy